Last night I was up for about 3 hours past mid-night,
thinking. I do that a lot. It’s a bad habit I cannot overcome.
I was thinking about my 2011. How the biggest highlight for
us that year was Samaira, and everything to do with her – her birth, her first
cry, her first nursing, how she fought against so many challenges at the
hospital, how she would oftentimes smile through it all, how she inspired us to
broaden our limited world! What a highlight this little gift was. There was
also a low-light that caused Siddharth and me to have endless discussions and
arguments for months!
Then I started thinking about my 2012. How the biggest
highlight was again Samaira – spending our entire year with this precious gift
we received in 2011. It’s been magical, to say the least. There was also a low-light,
again, that caused us to have endless discussions and arguments for months.
When I thought about my 2011 and 2012, I somehow thought of
the low-lights first. I let them overcome my thoughts for several hours, and
not for the first time, probably not the last time either. When I shared my
thoughts with Siddharth, his first response was, “Well, what was the best the thing that happened to us in these two
years? Samaira. And everything else is way too insignificant and not worthy of
being important. Why are you letting it overcome you, when you have Samaira to overcome
it?” “Excellent point” – I said. I
don’t know why I let that happen.
So my resolve in this new year is to think positive.
Positive first, positive last, positive in-between. That might be a bit much,
maybe. But I’d take that over the current status any day. I have decided to
focus on my highlights, and not on my low-lights. It’s not that I am going to
ignore the negativity in life, because I can’t. It’s just that I will not allow
it to become bigger than me. I know my 2013 will have a highlight, and chances
are there will be some low-light too. I know what I will be focusing on this
time.
While talking to a colleague sometime back I told him about
our hospital stay when Samaira was born. He talked about his Dad having a
condition that came as a shock and how they were figuring out how to deal with it.
After both of us had narrated our experiences, neither of us said anything for
a good 45 seconds. No, I wasn’t timing. Then
he said, “things happen.” Then there
was silence for about 15 seconds again. Then he said, “…and the true measure of a person is how she/he bounces back.” It made
sense to me. Later that day, I told my brother about this conversation. His reaction
was “OMG! This might be my favorite quote
of this entire year.” I asked him – “it’s a pretty good quote, but how come it is
your favorite?” His response was “because
there is so much power in these two simple words – things happen – that they
cover the entire spectrum of what you consider unexpected, life changing, etc.,
without taking away the magnitude of these events...and still leave hope for
what’s next.” I hadn’t thought of this particular angle before. But the
shocking realization of “things happen, so what?” rocked my
world. And my brother’s J!
Anyway, moral of the story is that the positive and brighter side of any coin,
will ultimately win. That’s how our world is constructed. And I am in agreement
with it. The question is, how long would it take us to get there?
A few nights back, I was skyping with my oldest, longest
friend, S. I have known her since I was
in 5th grade (or 5th class, as we say in India). She has
seen me when I was an immature, stubborn kid all through the school years. She has
seen me when I was still immature, still stubborn semi-adult in my college
years. And she knows me now….more than a decade later…still stubborn, but
somewhat mature. We both acknowledged we have changed SO MUCH, and that’s a
euphemism. We talked about how we used to fight over the most frivolous things
and make a huge deal out of nothing. I remember having gone for a duration of
at least a few months of not talking to my closest and best friends in school –
because I was adamant about not talking first after a fight. Yes that was me, not too long ago. I was
telling her how I wish I could have had all this wisdom back when I was in school,
and even in college. I would have seen things in a different light and not wasted our
time fighting, and doing other immature things. But there is no way I could
have been what I am today without going through every single experience of my
last 10ish years. Not a chance! By the
way, I may need to have a similar
conversation with Siddharth 10 years down the line. You see, growth never stops
J
! So as much as I value growth, and maturity, and awesomeness, I realize
the importance of going through a not-so-perfect phase or experience.
If I had my very own genie, until sometime back my wish would
have been to take away all the hurdles from Samaira’s life and make it smooth
and comfortable and beautiful and perfect. But having gone through life – from my
teens, to being 20-something, to now – I don’t have any such wish for Samaira
anymore.
I am ok with her facing difficulties and challenges in life.
I do however wish her the will and the strength to overcome those
challenges, and the ability to look at and enjoy the positive side of life.
