Monday, November 17, 2014


My siblings and I grew up in a very humble and loving environment. My parents loved the three of us like crazy. We never felt like they loved one of us more than the other. Even though the three of us are very different people. We give and receive love very differently. But my parents never let that affect how they loved us. It was equal love. Always. I talk so much about love because that is probably the most prominent sentiment, thing, object, or, artifact I remember from my childhood. We were a typical middle class family growing up. We ate good food at home. We indulged in sweets/chocolates, maybe, once a month. Sometimes once in two months. And whenever we did, it was such a treat. We ate out, maybe, once in 1-2 months. We did not grow up drinking soda. I don’t remember ever bringing soda into our home. We only had it when we ate out, if at all. We received new clothes on our birthdays and all major Indian festivals. It was our thing. We celebrated all Indian festivals in all their glory. I still hold on to those memories very dearly. I continue to celebrate some of the important festivals even today. Not for their religious significance, because most Indian festivals do have some sort of religious background behind it, but for my childhood memories. I valued every thing we purchased - toys, stationary, outfits, shoes, bike, school bags. Everything. I did not take these things for granted. I felt like I had a sufficient amount of everything I needed. But not excess.

Contrasting that with how we are today. I buy clothes, shoes, sweets, soda, stuff in general - without giving it a second thought. I buy things when I think I like something. I don’t think I am extravagant or careless. I am always looking for something new. For myself. For the kids. Sometimes for Siddharth. I am very careful when I buy something for Siddhu because buying something for him totally stresses him out and he questions the new purchase till eternity. According to him, he never needs anything new. Pretty much ever. Anyway. The point is, I do this thing. My kids are growing up in an environment in which they get clothes, shoes, toys, gifts, goodies, everything - anytime, all the time, on no special occasion. We have a room full of toys, a closet full of clothes, a stand full of shoes, a pantry full of snacks and food. I was a little hesitant in writing this post. Because I did not want to sound braggy. By no means is this a brag. Definitely not a brag. In fact there is a little hint of feeling what-am-I-doing-with-all-this involved in this.

The point is also not that former is better than the latter. It is not that I promote living with less, or sufficient or more.

But I wonder. I wonder, how best to provide an environment where my kids appreciate what they have, and know that they will have to work very hard to get most things in life. How do we teach them to not take things for granted? How do we tell them that abundance is not the norm. It is an exception. And that we need to value things that we have. We have to earn everything in life. And in spite of that we may not get everything we worked for. Because life isn’t always fair. I am not really sure where I am going with all this. But I am just hoping Samaira and Rehan will not develop a sense of entitlement. As of right now, I don't know how I will prevent that from happening. I don’t know how I will inculcate gratitude and wonderment for things. I really want them to be able to appreciate what they have. Not take it for granted. Work hard for every new thing they want.

I want to make sure we are raising kids minus the entitlement. And if they ever fall into the trap of the evil-entitlement, then how do we bring them back? I am fully aware of how little we can control and govern what our kids will do, or be like, or  aspire to be, or dream of. We come with our own destiny. We write and re-write our own destiny. Samira and Rehan will own their actions, reactions, destiny and paths. But a sense of entitlement is not something I want to impart to them. So, God help me in doing the right thing. And if anyone, ever, has any ideas - please let me know. I need to know. I need to do. Do the right thing. In this one case for sure.

Minus the entitlement.

My Positivity

Earlier this week, Siddharth thought it is a good idea to have a dance off with kids before going to bed every night. Until they are totally tired. They kind of dig this routine now. The four of us dance to the latest Hindi songs for 15-20 min every night before hitting the bed. After our dance offs, kids pretty much walk to their beds on their own and are happy to fall asleep. Hubs' idea is a genius. My favorite part is Sammy asking for it on her own now. For the last two nights, after we have changed the kids into their jammies, Sammy says “I want to dance.” Oh well. So we dance. Mostly jump. Or run after each other.

Thankful. For the husband. For the daughter. For the son. Who are full time entertainment. They plaster a smile on my face. Most of the times, anyway.

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