Monday, September 1, 2014

"I am not as bad as I look," said Failure

This is like déjà vu. Like it is happening all over again. Like I have talked about it before. Multiple times, maybe. But that didn’t stop me from writing about it yet again. It is that important.

I think destiny does us a major solid each time we fail. Success makes us happy. It makes us efficient. It makes the whole world go around. So, by no means do I want to take away from the idea of success. I love success. I love to succeed. It hurts to fail. It makes me wish away failure. But here is the point. When does our real growth occur? Not quite literally. Not the physical growth. But emotion, intellectual growth. The kind of growth in which our bodily-humanity-cells grow. That growth occurs when circumstances are not pretty. When they are not picture perfect. When the outcomes are not what we expect. When we struggle. When we fail, or when we have the perception of failure. So, while success grows the world, failure grows people. I have to remind myself to greet failure and disappointment with as much dignity as I treat success. This message hits harder every time I realize how little we control in lives. Our corporate world and type A personalities will have us believe that we run the show and control the world. But, no. Oh, no. Could we be more wrong? What we can have a direct control over is our own self, our own actions, and our own thoughts. Sometimes, not even. The maximum we have over everything else is some level of probable influence. Definitely not control. This is no cop-out. This is to say that we need to draw a map of control and of influence. Neither will predict a desired outcome. But it will help us manage our efforts and therefore our expectations.

While I am trying to write all of this, a little voice in my head is going, “T – stop being all preachy and lessony. This world is full of experts and gurus. It does not need yet another 30-something, mother of two, sort-of-engineer, sort-of-business-girl giving advice on how to live life and figure out the important stuff in life." You will be amazed at the promptness with which I am able to shun that little voice in my head and get on with my life-lessony-rant. Because some things are just that important. So I lose my inhibitions, keep calm, and preach on.

So, people. Listen to me. No, I am totally kidding. Not that preachy. But seriously. Just joking.
The point is that I am trying to embrace failures and disappointments with the respect they deserve. To the point that I am still able to lament, stop lamenting, stand up and move on. I have a very, very , long way to go. But I am up for this challenge. Looking for the brighter side. The sliver-lining. The sunny-side up. Or what have you. Words can so often be our biggest enemy, but they can be powerful as well. Just writing these words and articulating these sentences can lift my spirits.

To top it all, Sammy & Rehan are there to teach me and help me course correct every time I get off the wagon. Every time I see them fall off the stairs, cry, and get back up to climb the same stairs again, I make a mental note ‘Did you just see that? What failure? What disappointment?” Remember it. For future reference.
A failure is only a failure if you let it beat you down. Or else, it could be your BFF.

And every failure in life can be overcome with some ice-cream anyway
My Positivity
My coworker mentioned this quote the other day, “Seek first to understand. Then to be understood.” Whoa. Oh hey quote, where were you all these years? Thanks for entering my life with a bang.

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