Monday, September 22, 2014

My zing and my zang

My day and my night. My ying and my yang. My tick and my tock. My ting and my tang. My zing and my zang. My Sammy and my Rehan. They are two sides of the coin. They are quite similar in some ways, and quite different in others. It is so interesting to watch the differences and the similarities in their personalities. It reminds me every time I see them that it is not always about finding similarities among people, but it is also about appreciating, rejoicing, respecting and accepting the differences. Both Sammy and Rehan are caring and loving in their own way. I just have to recognize their way and love them for the way they love.

While Rehan's face forms an inverted U when we drop him at the day care, Sammy can’t wait to be with her friends and pretend like we are not even there when we are barely done saying bye.

While Rehan comes running to us at the end of the day when we go to pick him up, Sammy runs in the opposite direction and pretends to be really busy with her friends or toys so we understand to not disturb her.

While both my kids are super-stubborn (guess who they got this trait from? Hint: their mom), Sammy is easier to pacify and make understand that certain something is not allowed. Rehan on the other hand gets angry. Like really angry. He is all of 15 month old. How does a child so young know to be angry? Well, genetics do play a certain role I guess.

While Rehan is happy to eat anything and everything, Sammy refuses to eat any vegetables except for peas. I could cut carrots into the size of a sand particle and she will manage to spit that particle out!

While Sammy loves to listen to songs and rhymes and stories at the end of the day (and pretty much any time of the day), we still don’t know what makes Rehan tick. We don’t have a solution for when he cries. It is almost like our guess would be just as good as our next door neighbor’s.

So, there. They are different. And I love it. I value it. I treasure it.

They both love in their own way too.

This one time, Rehan hit Sammy with a plastic ball and I instinctively yelled at Rehan for throwing a ball at Sammy. I asked Rehan to say sorry to her. And he, in his own way, sat in front of her and touched her cheeks. That was his way of saying sorry. Sammy went ahead and hugged him and said “I love you Rehan. I love you.” Sammy on the other hand will jump and attack Rehan with her hugs and kisses when she wants to pacify him. So much so that Rehan now runs scared in the opposite direction when he sees her coming to give him a hug. We just laugh at the spectacle. Because clearly that is the right thing to do as parents.

Just yesterday, instead of sitting in her car seat, Sammy wanted to sit in the driver sit. So I let her sit there while she was pretending to drive. I leaned over to make sure she is fine and she pushed me away saying “Go away. I am driving.” I immediately fast forwarded 10 years (or maybe 5, who knows) and started imagining this dialog coming out of her mouth when she will be in her almost-teens. This dialog will surely come up in some other context, if not driving. I am preparing for it. And while there is a rebellious undertone to it, something about it made me happy. I can’t point my figure at it. It may be very hard to comprehend the possibility of liking something in that statement. But I did. I was celebrating her zing. Her streak of independence.

Most of the times, Rehan does not like to be held. He wiggles his way out of my hands the minute I try to hold him. But completely randomly, out of nowhere, to my utter surprise, he will take a break from him blocks and come give me a hug and say “mummmaa.” That. Right there. Is my zang. I celebrate that attachment. I understand it is probably an under 5 year old thing. But I will celebrate it while it lasts.

Just honoring and celebrating my zing and my zang when I have the opportunity. can only try!

My Positivity
Last sunny weekend of this summer. Spent with good people, in a good beach, at a nice hour, with nice food. There is a lot to be thankful for.

No comments: