A little something to light up my day

Jacuzzi baths, sunglasses, fun hat, teddy bear conversations, and add to that Siddharth & Samaira - that's my recipe for a happy day. 

I am grateful for what life has given to me. I don't forget even for a second what it means to me. We are surrounded by friends and family who love us a lot. I have a husband who loves me way too much. He has a wife who understands him beyond his words and expressions, which may or may not always do justice to what he feels. I understand the effort and luck it takes, at everyone's end, to get to this level of understanding and comprehension between two people. And I applaud both of us for getting to that point (self applause could be my forte, sometimes :)). I understand that we could argue and fight every day without losing an ounce of love for each other. I understand that we will have good days and we will have bad days. But I understand that those are meant to be passing phases while we stand together, as a rock. I understand that it is not all happy all the time. But we have each others' back when it is not. I understand that others may or may not always understand us, but with effort and love, we understand each other. I truly, truly, truly understand that having Samaira with us makes all these things 1 trillion times more important. So here we are, with all of that and more...

All Things Out-of-Control

I am lucky to be working in an environment in which there are plenty of women in senior leadership position to look up to. I don’t look up to them to necessarily become them some day. That’s a non-goal. I look up to them because knowingly or unknowingly they inspire me - professionally and personally. I recently had a “post maternity-break catch up” conversation with one of these women I admire, KH, and her perspective felt…ummm…so refreshingly similar to my own. She talked about being a mom as a very humbling experience. That’s truly when you realize and appreciate the awesomeness of ‘things taking care of themselves’ because there is just so much that is not in your control. That wasn’t to say that you don’t do anything about anything and make this attitude your weakness. But that’s just to say that you really don’t control a lot of what happens around you – and how merely having that realization is a huge step for us. One moment you know exactly what you want in life and are sure about that one thing more than the air you breathe in. And the next moment your entire world could change. It kind of hurts when it happens to you for no real-doing of your own. But that’s exactly the point. Sometimes, it is ok to not fret about these out-of-control phenomena that have the power to impact your lives in the biggest way possible.

I keep on adding to the list of things one cannot control. You cannot control other people – their feelings, their actions, their reactions, their loyalty, their friendship – even though you may have given your heart, soul and life to them, and think that they will stand by you forever. What you can control, however, is your inner-self. And it is important to not lose yourself when dealing with such people. It is important to not lose faith in true-love, because it does exist somewhere around you, and it is just a matter of you running into it sooner or later. There are other experiences in life that could teach you the same. But motherhood took me to this realization faster than any other personal-experience. And when I see it happen again, I can spot it from far.

Being a mom has also made me aware of my heightened instinct to protect the people I love, the people that I care for – my family and my close friends. My oftentimes mild personality could turn into something totally intense & blunt if somebody hurts someone I love. That’s a big no-no in my world. I have seen myself turn into a fierce lioness to show that I care for my loved ones, more than myself. Only a handful of people fall into the category of “my loved ones” – but the ones that do know that I am there, and that I always will be there.

KH told me that when she looks at these 20 something year old women (not said in a negative way), she wants some of their “this is my plan, this is what I want, this is exactly how it will go” attitude. While she hasn’t given up on making plans, her life and its experiences have given her a perspective that allow her to look beyond the plans. And I admire that. While I have learnt the importance and realized the existence of all things out-of-control, I haven’t mastered the art of not fretting about all things out-of-control. I still fret. Hopefully I will learn to take a chill pill as I grow up.

Somebody got her ears pierced

Honestly, I wasn’t too sure how I felt about piercing my little one's ears at 5 months. Most people recommended even sooner (any time after 3 months). So I decided to give it a whirl. Yesterday, we took a trip to the most highly recommended Claire’s location for infant ear piercing in the Greater Seattle area. I was told to ask for the store manager to do this procedure (it felt like one for sure), and I did exactly that. Except, the store manager’s last day was on Friday as she is moving to the Netherlands! I kind of froze and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go ahead. I think I just wasn’t ready to make that decision either way. I asked Siddharth, mostly to get an affirmation for “it doesn’t matter at this point, let’s just go for it”. And that’s how he reacted.

So the assistant manager at the time helped us out, and she was wonderful. I think she read the look of shock and fear on my face and spent a good 15 minutes explaining everything to us, and answering all my silly and non-silly questions. Thanks, assistant manager, for being so understanding!

By the time the assistant manager was done explaining the procedure and answering my 1001 questions (most of which were repeats), Samaira was ready to eat. So it wasn’t the best time to keep her away from her food and poke holes in her ears. But she did good. She cried, but mostly before the actual ear piercing. As soon as she was done, I left Siddharth to finish the rest of the payment related formalities and got out of the store to soothe Samaira. All she needed was a little bouncy-bouncy motion and me singing “skidamarink dink dink skidamarink doo” and she was smiling again :).

I have to admit, she looks pretty darn hot in her brand new ear-studs!

Pure Unadulterated Moments

In the pre-Samaira era, I would have done anything for that extra 5 minute of sleep in the morning, and anything that would come in between me and my extra-5-minutes-of-sleep would be a temporary enemy. In my post-Samaira era, no matter what time I go to bed, I get up whenever Samaira gets up in the morning. I have no way to tell how long she has been awake for if she gets up before me. But if that happens, she starts breathing in a different way and she starts looking all around the room. She doesn’t typically cry or make loud noises to mark her grand-entry into the new day.

Those first 30-60 minutes of the day are my favorite moments every single day. That’s the time when she is happy, unaffected by anything that’s going on outside, active and smiling. While she is all these things the rest of the day as well, there is something else that is different about these few minutes. This is the time when I am fresh, mostly unaffected by thoughts outside of the four walls of our room, un-jaded by what’s to come, and mostly devoid of any fatigue or not-so-positive feelings that could sometimes creep into my day for various reasons. As it turns out, it is a relatively universal new-mom feeling. I was talking to some of the fellow moms from my PEPs group and they feel the same way about the morning time being an amazing time with their babies.

I really treasure and value these minutes like somebody values their pridest possession. These are my pure un-adulterated moments with Samaira that I keep very close to my heart.

Happy 5th Month Birthday, Sam!

Daddy made Ghirardelli dark chocolate cup cakes! So yummmm...I ate 2.5 pieces and could have eaten more!

The two loves of my life...are ready to eat each other. Somebody save them !

My little one is all grown up. 5 months just flew by. Before I know it - you will be 1 , then 5, then 18, then 25....Oh My God! I am kind of freaking out at the idea!

These are a few of my favorite things/people…

Unconditional love

Samaira

Orchids

Almond shaped eyes – I am getting there J

Trust

Siddharth

Moroccan Oil

White

The kind of nice person Siddharth is and how much he cares about people around him, but doesn’t show it one bit, and he doesn’t even care if others don’t know it for the rest of their lives

Leggings

My brother

Happiness

Samaira’s eyes

German chocolate cake or any other cake for that matter

Aloo ki sabzi (Potato vegetable)

Life

Siddharth’s friendship

Movies

My sister

Slight overcast

Parents

Fancy paper bags

Coffee

Yellow

My laptop

Haircuts at the right time

The way I say “PLEASE” (emphatically in a tone and intent that actually means exactly the opposite of please) – I agree it’s kind of weird how this is one of my favorite things

Dogs

Mosambi (Sweet lime)

Siddharth’s love for Samaira

Bourbon

Square photo frames with black border

P & A

Someone loving someone unconditionally

Ironman: Robert Downy Jr.

Honesty

Waves

Samaira’s smile

Sunflower

My extreme emotional intelligence, as my siblings point out

...and some more of unconditional love – it kinda rocks my world!

Strength, Optimism….from somewhere…from anywhere

When life starts throwing bananas at you - just be thankful that it’s not pancakes slathered in honey and maple syrup, because that will take a lot more strength and patience to clean up.

Meet and greet with the impossible to shock the hell out of it.  

When someone says something that makes you grab the nearest chair or close your ears and cry out loud – just smile. You never know what a smile could do.

When a gust of strong wind blows in your face - face it head on, spread your arms wide open, close your eyes shut, and just go with the flow. You will surprise the wind with how easily you could survive it!

I can’t always protect you from the heat of the situation, but I promise to try my best. If nothing, you will know that I am there for you.

At the end of the day, no matter how severe the storm is, just know that it will pass, but I will stay. Forever, with you. Because that’s what families do!

Love you babe – more than forever. And yes, there is such a thing as “forever” J. 

Happy Soul

Two of my most favorite people in this whole wide world are my two nieces, P & A. I could be going through the worst of times, and just a look at their faces can light up my face. I have always admired my sister for the kind of mom she is. She has two kids - with very different personalities, with very different attitudes, and with very different inclinations/aptitudes. But I have seen my sister love both her babies with the same amount of intensity without any bias. It probably is a mom thing, and all those moms with two or more kids could probably relate to it. I admire it in my sister anyway.

There are a few things I have learnt from my sister in the last few years of her being a mom. I have learnt to greet Samaira with a big, bright smile the very first thing in the morning. I noticed my sister do that every time she would wake her kids up in the morning. Ever since then I was determined to not-forget-to-do-the-same-thing. I used to look at my nieces and wonder how they were such happy souls. They are happy souls because that’s what my sister is. And that’s what she spreads. Happiness. Joy.

Not only that, but my sister is fun and funny too. She is always a good company (except when she decides to be a stubborn head. Which definitely happened more than 10 years ago, not sure about now), and that makes her a fun-mom.

Other than my mom, my sister is my role model mom. Love you sis!

Ironman vs. Nemo

Tonight was a date night for Siddharth and me and we spent it with some of our favorite people – Ironman, Hulk, Captain America, etc. You get the idea. The Avengers. Normally I am an Ironman fan, but Hulk kind of steals the show in this one.

For the majority of the movie, I kept wishing I could bring Samaira to this movie so we could enjoy it together. When will be the right time for me to bring her to such movies, I wonder. At two years? Or maybe at seven and half years. Either way, I wonder what her favorite character will be.

Instead of thinking of Dora & Nemo, I am thinking of Ironman & Hulk as a favorite comic book character for Samaira! What kind of a mom am I? Weird one, eh.

Well Samaira, you can think all you want for now, but we’ve got to share favorites when you grow up. I promise to like Nemo if you promise to like Ironman. 

 

From Me to You

There is so much to say and so much to share

All I need you to know is that I really do care

With every passing moment of our beautiful lives

You give me an infinite source of laughter and smiles

You are my bundle of awesomeness

You are my field of happiness

You lead me to joy

You lead me to love

I know you are a blessing for me from up above

Just a look at you is enough for me

To free me of absolutely any worry

While my heart keeps yearning

For more of you

Here’s to a lifetime of learning

For me and for you!

Taken by Shotbyheather